Alone
by ShelbyLehnsherr
Summary: *X-MEN FIRST CLASS* *ERIK/CHARLES* Erik's ultimate goal is to kill Sebastian Shaw. Charles assures him that killing will not bring him peace. Erik insists that this is the only way he will ever achieve inner peace.


**Alone**

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><p>In chess, the pawns were the ones sacrificed first - often defenseless and weak, these pieces were given the pivotal role of penance in order to protect the more powerful queen. They were valued very little in the overall pursuit of victory and often tossed away without a second thought. As he stared down at the board in front of him, Charles Xavier could not help but relate the simple game he was playing to the situation he currently found himself in - much like a match, the mounting conflict with Sebastian Shaw consisted of more deception and manipulation than even he was aware of.<p>

The aspects of his life were no longer as black and white as they had previously been, and his world no longer consisted of merely himself and Raven, but so many others - people he felt so responsible for that his shoulders slumped at the very thought of something happening to any one of them. The worst had already occurred with the death of Darwin, and that was before the real conflict had even begun; as he reflected back, he realized with a sickening jolt that the young man had merely been a pawn in the twisted game they found themselves in, a sacrifice meant to provoke and heighten the stakes of their current trial.

The most difficult moments of their metaphorical chess game had not even truly begun, and already it was slipping so easily out of his control.

Charles often prided himself on being two steps ahead of those around him. Even without the aid of his telepathy, people had always been extremely easy to read in his eyes. He was, under general circumstances, well aware of the next actions of most, whether he wanted to be or not.

Recently, however, that ability had been completely altered. He was no longer in complete control of what was happening around him; it was unsettling at best, as his life had always adapted so neatly to his own wishes that having anything but that twisted sense of normalcy was extremely foreign. He was no longer completely certain about his own actions, much less those of others.

One thing he was completely certain of, however, was Erik's desire to kill Sebastian Shaw himself. He did not have to be a mind reader in order to see that; though the young man strove to keep nearly everything in his life hidden in the lockbox of his mind, there were certain things that simply could not be put to rest. Though he'd promised himself he wouldn't, Charles could not help but attempt an exploration of the other man's thoughts - he'd felt his agony, the pain that clawed at him constantly, the rage that spread through him like wildfire.

It was very difficult not to, and he knew, more than anything at this moment in time, that he needed to stop it. Killing Sebastian Shaw would not bring Erik the peace he yearned for, no matter how much Erik himself believed that it would.

As his mind continued to wander, his fingers grasped one of the marble pieces before him - a rook - as he moved it across the board, closer to the black queen. Blue eyes traveled to the other man's face as he settled back again in his chair, fingers lacing together in contemplation. He needed to broach the subject somehow, this he knew, and though words had always been his strong suit, he couldn't bring himself to speak just yet. Like a move in chess, this conversation desperately needed to be well thought out, lest he take the risk of further driving Erik into some sort of unnecessary action.

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><p>Much like everything else in the world, chess had an objective.<p>

The objective of each player was to checkmate their opponent, or in other words, bring the enemies king into a position where it would have no available squares to move when attacked.

A game of chess had three phases: The opening, the middle game, and the end game. Erik Lensherr carefully constructed his plan to kill Sebastian Shaw in accordance with each stage.

The opening: the first phase where the players assemble their pieces to engage in battle. Xavier and himself have compiled a team of powerful mutants, whom were currently in training to stop a potential World War III.

The middle game: the phase of the game where you start developing a plan, and then choose whether or not you would like to remain on the offensive or defensive. If you don't make a move immediately, it gives your opponent the chance to reinforce his position and gain extra resources. Erik had set his plan in motion since the day his mother was killed right before his eyes. He was determined to one day see Sebastian Shaw dead-and by his hands. Once the opportunity was presented, regardless of how much Charles disapproved, he would kill him. If he did not, Shaw could have an entire army of mutants for all they knew, and thus result in their imminent defeat.

The end game: the phase where your plan is set into motion, and if successful, will remove a vast majority of pieces on the board. Erik knew if he took down Shaw, all of the mutants who followed him will discontinue the fight and surrender.

Erik stared intently down at the board as he seriously contemplated his next move. It appeared Charles had made a slight miscalculation and was attempting to move closer to his black queen, which was positioned diagonally from his king. Erik waited a moment before lifting his hand to the board, taking his black knight and setting it in place of Charles' white rook.

He saw the brief flash of surprise cross Charles face as he placed the rook on his side of the board, along with six other pieces. "Every move is crucial, Charles…" He drawled as he leaned back in the plush chair, reaching over to the end table to pick up his almost empty glass of scotch.

That statement could stand for more than just chess. Every move executed in his plan to rid the world of Sebastian Shaw was critical. One wrong move could mean the failure of his arrangement altogether.

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><p>Every move was crucial. There was something else behind those words; he wasn't merely talking about their chess game. Charles's gaze once again rested on Erik's face - his expression, as always, was an indifferent mask of passivity. That expression was enough to drive him nearly mad; he'd never found someone quite so frustrating. Spending as much time with Erik as he had prompted Charles to realize certain things about the other man, things he was sure no one else was as aware of. Though they'd only known each other for a matter of weeks, Charles was sure that he knew Erik even better than he knew himself, whether the other would ever admit it or not.<p>

"Right," he said carefully as he leant forward to contemplate his next move. Every move was crucial. Just as Erik believed every move in his quest for vengeance to be crucial, Charles believed every move in his quest to stop it was just as important. He couldn't simply allow Erik to kill Sebastian Shaw - though a small part of him wanted the same thing, it was not right. Killing had never brought resolution to any sort of conflict; Erik should have known this first hand more so than any of them, but he did not. He was too blinded by his need for revenge to see it.

His hand reached forward again, brushing against one of the only remaining pawns he had left. It was a safe move, a guileless sacrifice, but one that needed to be made. He sighed as he removed his own drink from the mahogany table at his right and lifted it to his lips - the liquor burned going down and was never quite satisfying, but it would have to do. His posture matched that of his companion; one hand held his drink tightly, and he leant back into the chair he was currently occupying. It was now or never - there would be little time to waste soon, and he needed to put an end to any foolish actions before Erik ever had a chance to start them.

"Vengeance is not the only available path." Charles said, struggling to keep his tone mild. He looked at him again, studying his face in order to observe any change in his expression. "Killing will not bring you peace, my friend."

Erik had to resist the urge to chuckle at Charles' statement. Killing, in this situation, would bring him peace because he would be disposing of the man that would eventually bring death to millions of innocent people. If one death meant saving the lives of millions, Erik did not know why Charles was not willing to make such a minute sacrifice.

"Peace," Erik started, setting down his now empty glass. "Was never an option."

With that said, he moved his black rook to remove one of Charles' remaining pawns on the chess board. He had very specific expectations to meet, and he would not allow Charles, or anyone else for that matter, stand in the way.

The expression on the other man's face sparked a hint of anger in his usual mild disposition - he was suppressing a chuckle, almost, and Charles felt the corners of his mouth turn downward into a frown. Did he not understand what killing Sebastian Shaw would do? There was a chance, of course, that his death would save the lives of millions of innocent people, but there was also a chance that it would ignite the fuse to some sort of deeper and more dangerous retaliation. Pressing his index finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes for the briefest of moments, Charles had to suppress another sigh before he spoke. "I don't think you quite understand what kind of position you are putting yourself in." he said quietly, hoping that his words would somehow jolt some sort of sense into Erik.

Erik was positively baffled. Shaw was the cause of all of this: his anger, his depression, his hatred for the world and everyone in it. Yet, Charles was making it sound as if he actually had any control over the situation. But no matter which way anyone looked at it, Erik did not have a choice. In order to bring an end to all of his pain and suffering, he would have to see Sebastian Shaw dead.

And he would be the one to put him in his grave.

"I am not putting myself in this position, Charles." Erik snapped lowly, brows furrowing as anger began to seep into his tone. "I understand what I must do, and I have every intention to go through with it."

Charles stared at him for a moment, struck silent by his words. He wasn't putting himself in that position? Then who was? The reasoning and logic behind Erik's way of thinking continued to baffle him - he understood that Shaw had caused him more agony and suffering than any human being should rightfully endure, but that did not allow a person vendetta to murder the man.

Killing would not bring him peace as he so thoroughly believed it would; he'd say it over and over again until Erik finally understood if he needed to. It was quite obvious to Charles that Erik did not fully comprehend the fact that he was not completely alone in this world, that there were people who cared for him and did not want to see him lost to such blind rage. He couldn't see what was right in front of his very own eyes, and that worried him. "Regardless of what you may think, I actually care about what happens to you."

Those words pierced through Erik's heart like a thousand daggers. Charles cared about what happened to him? Statements like that were so foreign to him he didn't know how to answer back. For the first time in his life, Erik had no idea what he was supposed to do next. The silence lingered in the air for several moments longer before Erik stood from his chair, staring down at Charles, who looked up at him the instant he rose.

"Worrying about me is not yours, or anyone's, burden to bear." He said, meeting the mind-readers gaze for a brief moment before he stalked off, leaving Charles alone in the library to contemplate his words.

"One day soon, Erik…" Charles mumbled to himself, sinking back into his chair and covering his eyes with a single hand. "I hope you understand that you are not alone."

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><p><strong>-End-<strong>


End file.
